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Sunday, July 5, 2026

What Are You Talking About,

Lue? 
I’m just a crank, remember? A crackpot no one takes seriously.
Remember?
Nobody takes me seriously.
No one.
What are you so worried about, Mr. New York Times Best Seller List?
Mr. “I Own A Bar”?
Mr. Gearhead who REALLY likes his toys?
Mr. I Own A Motorcycle And Five Dogs?
What are you so fucking worried about,
Mr. I Haven’t Made Any Money and My Wife Works at Home Depot?
What are you worried about?
Mr. Manufactured sob story? 
For someone who didn’t make any money, you sure have a lot of things that cost a lot of money.
WHAT are you worried about? 
Are you like the double slit experiment as well?
You make no money and yet you’re doing a national tour that’s sold out?
What happened to you?
‘Cause it sure seems like the money was the main driver.
The money.
The money.
The money.
You sure Christopher Mellon couldn’t help you out at all during that long dark night of the soul when you had a major publisher helping you along the way with your little advance?
 I mean seriously.
Do you even listen to yourself?
Do you even know what you’re saying?
Do you even care?

APE 🚨‼️Alert FUBU:

We’re sorry no one‘s available to take your call at the moment. But if you leave a message, 
 we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible.

I like the slit experiment.
Do you know what the slit experiment is?
 I don’t know.
Sometimes I do and I do not know what it is at the same time.
Maybe that’s not the slit experiment I’m thinking of.
Maybe this is more like it. 
Base is getting a little HAIRY lately!!! 
🦍
Didya see what I just did there? Get it? πŸ˜‰
Vengeance is MINE Sayeth The Lord!!!
OOK OOK!!!!


Saturday, July 4, 2026

Hans is not going to be a problem anymore, ladies and gentlemen.

YOU’RE WELCOME, Deep State.
What he did was a public service. And you all know it. Hans was busy terrorizing others for years, walking around the facility with impunity.
And you knew it.
And you did nothing because you wanted to keep up your military might and let the chips fall where they may while you could research him.
And then came the time of diminishing returns, when he would just walk down the hall like Darth Vader and take the breath out of peoples throats, crush larynxes, scare the living daylights out of men.
 He made no friends. And you knew this too.
Shit that makes Stranger Things look mighty tame I might add.
And you let him do this.
For years.
With impunity.
***You’re welcome***

Friday, July 3, 2026

Oopsie.


What do you expect? I got generals threatening to stick a needle in my ear on one side and then I got another guy who’s willing to die for me and is doing all kinds of “artistic” shit in underground bases. 
What. Do. You. Expect? 
Oh- Hi, guy. πŸ₯ΈπŸ˜Ά‍🌫️πŸ˜‰




Wednesday, June 24, 2026

Dear Post to HQ: EAT SHIT.

OPERATION TRAPDOOR
Was a black operation designed to kill people and bring them back to life and each time they came back to life they were more and more psychic. 
You did that to me. 
You did that. 
For shiny cars and new houses. 
You did that to me. 
And now you pay the price. 
And I’ve got a posse. 
I’ve got a big fucking Mack truck behind me.
 Eat SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!



Monday, June 22, 2026

Hans-el Sans Gretel

 The best disinfectant is sunlight, Hans. I got you, Boo. You Middle German-loving motherfucker. 
You’ve had a posse on me for years. 
And now I got you. 
I got you triangulated. 
I got You, you power-loving, hungry motherfucker. 
I got you. 
That was really cute, too. 
You using a DEW on me. 
That was cute. 

Do you know who I’ve also got too? 

You Know Who. 

Hoo Hoo! 

And they’re listening too. 

I got you, Boo. 

Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. Little Bo(o) Peep, lost her sheep and don’t know where to Find Her. But now I’ve a Gun and Lost All The Fun and They Come Running Behind Her.