Are all Parents Selfish Narcissists?

It could also be argued that in a narcissistic, sexist, paternalistic culture, women are carefully cultivated, trained, and conditioned to fulfill a role that said narcissistic society wants them to be in order to continue the oppression of women and to keep them from competing in the workplace.

  (And Sam: just as an aside,  because I know you read this blog, just because more women are competing for  jobs in law as never before and are taking roles in government that they have never had a chance to do before as you recently stated in a speech ? Does not mean that the vast majority of women are free from oppression.  It is a false corollary that just because a woman is highly educated and has a lot of money in her bank account that she will be free from societal pressure, abuse, violence, etc. that is gender biased and gender based.  In the same way that *some* men take dangerous jobs, it doesn’t mean *all* men take dangerous jobs.  I have a shit ton of degrees and I am not a wealthy person.  I am 48 years old at the time of this writing and am still treated like an adolescent in many situations with men. Their behavior towards me by and large is not congenial deference, it’s not respect and common decency: it is paternalistic, patronizing and objectifying. 

I was once told by the only male gynecologist I’ve ever gone to that my uterus would make a wonderful home for a baby someday and how many children was I planning on having (none) and he wouldn’t take “ I prefer not to”  for an answer.  It was inconceivable to him.   

Suffice it to say, that was the one and only time I ever went to this doctor. 

 We could talk about the endless array of experiences that women have had with Medical paternalism that rival the best scenes and excerpts from The Handmaid’s Tale, but it would take too long to go into here . 

Many women are treated like girls in many cultures, including western ones. They are not taken seriously regardless of how many degrees they have on a wall. Correlation does not mean causation .)

Interestingly enough, women are often the best monitors and trainers of other women.  Because this kind of oppression gets rewarded in a misogynistic society. When women have this, it is called “internalized misogyny”.   

https://www.macleans.ca/regretful-mothers/

UPDATE: 4/12/19:

And then there’s the issue of plagiarism with Sam and his associate as well...  another blatant display of disregard for citing work from this author, regardless of the insight his sometimes contributions may convey. But it still calls to mind who else he might not be citing?:

https://anyaisachannel.blogspot.com/2018/12/sam-vaknin-seminar-to-be-seen.html?m=1

“To Be Seen... As A Plagiarist”

UPDATE: 4/11/19:  It took me a while to build up the courage to say this because Richie is very important to me personally but nonetheless it has to be said because I have self-respect as well:

Even though Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon blatantly plagiarize and steal from me routinely, and refuse to attribute my work at all to anything they say or do, this is pretty good.  Both men have been visiting my blog routinely, however, and in the case of Richie, for years,  in the case of Sam for at least since before this lecture was recorded. 

This idea or kernel for the basis of the lecture , a lecture both men financially profited off of, was stolen from this article I wrote: 

https://anyaisachannel.blogspot.com/2017/08/david-bowie-andy-warhol-lyrics.html?m=1

 By Sam’s own admission he is a plagiarist. He lies even as he writes about no longer being a plagiarist while he plagiarizes to this day:

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissistgenius.html

The David Bowie post was written in the midst of a gaslighting campaign that Richie Grannon had created to psychologically abuse me which makes no sense because Richie also is one of the people I almost single-handedly credit as one of the healers of my CPTSD (besides myself and Pete Walker) which makes it even more insidious— which is what he wanted. 

He claims he’s working on 100% healing his codependence right now, and I wish him wellness on that. However, knowing Richie, I wonder how much of that is him actually saying that and how much of that is just words that he says that he doesn’t actually mean. It could be that he dissociates when he says it, I don’t know.  He also claims that he has psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies and was raised by a psychopath.  He grew up in horrible conditions of violence and abuse of all kinds. 

  I hope he’s serious about that statement about healing his codependence and he follows through completely.   But both men have exhibited pathological tendencies 

and Richie, if you’re reading this?

  Hanging out with Sam is not good for your mental health, wellness, or recovery.  I am concerned, and even though you have actively attempted to and have abused me personally many times as well, I still care about you.  And no it’s not because of the CPTSD or some kind of “trauma bond”. At least not a trauma bond in the linear, classical sense. You know why. 

Just some BS to cut through the gaslighting: A video where I actually cited my sources and a video he made three weeks later with a suspiciously familiar title that mocks me/flaunts the identity stealing/gaslighting campaign Richard enacted against me:

 Anyway, Sam is a clinical psychopath and malignant narcissist and thinking that you can hang out with him with “black belt psychological skills” on a regular basis in some weird knife fight logic that presumes you can overcome the conditions of your childhood metaphorically by hanging out with a snake and not ever getting bitten by him is unsafe.  If you want to build immunity by taking the poison slowly, drop-by-drop, you’re still risking hurting yourself. There’s no guarantee that you will emerge unscarred by his presence.  His ever-growing, ever constant presence if memory serves correct. If you ever want the answer to be “Yes” to the question “Do you love yourself? “, then hanging out with Sam on a near-weekly basis is probably not the way to do it. 

Sam frequently goes off the deep end and makes leaps of logic that are ridiculous, *not* intelligent,  *not* accurate,  and I completely understand why academia has such a hard time taking him seriously/ they consider him dangerous and irresponsible/a wild card. 

Frequently he is brilliant and makes thoughtful observations and contributions : but he is a live wire, unbalanced, and a mixed bag. He’s also a blatant misogynist.  I’ve caught him just off-handedly playing fast and loose and saying blatantly wrong data about subjects and frequently making corollaries about causation that are incorrect.  

 Red flags about character are red flags about character. They’re not subjective. They are observable. And if you choose to look the other way or don’t consider it meaningful or notable? Then that’s a red flag about character that is unsafe too.  Again, maybe it’s dissociation, maybe it’s codependence. Either way, I wish you wellness always, Richie. 

Blessings.

System Re-victimizes, Pathologizes Victim, Sides with Offender, Abuser

Premise to interlude


Wait till all bones pretrude


You're convexed, you're convert


There is a stain on your shirt

Semi-sweet, seminude


The remorse you can't hide


Now we molt, past our skin


And make room to begin

Symmetry


You must work in symmetry


You must earn their empathy


Empathy, empathy, empathy

Symmetry


You must work in symmetry


You must earn their empathy


Empathy, empathy, empathy

Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down on me

The final chrysalis


Self-controlled consciousness


Now it feels imminent


Done for your benefit

Eat right out of their hand


Its concaved all your glands


We're encouraged to forget


Preference to be force-fed

Symmetry


You must work in symmetry


You must earn their empathy


Empathy, empathy, empathy

Symmetry


You must work in symmetry


You must earn their empathy


Empathy, empathy, empathy

Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down on me


Down, down, cities fall down

You must earn our empathy


You must earn our empathy


You must earn our empathy


You must earn our empathy

You must earn our empathy


You must earn our empathy


You must earn our empathy

Songwriters
KATH, ETHAN / GLASS, ALICE

Published by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group