In the Catbird’s Seat

Well, I am just delighted, boys. There are not many times in a woman’s life when she gets to say that, so I’m just gonna say it ‘cause I am tickled pink.
I grew up in Appalachia where it is NOT cool at all to brag, but I just gotta do this.
I gotta crow a little bit.
 I don’t get to do this much. I’m just a humble woman, but I just overheard a major general and a colonel talking about me and boy, was it the headiest mix of fear and admiration
I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
 It’s kind of like my family where they would claim they would compliment me, but never when I was around because they didn’t want me to get too big a head,
you know.
Never mind that I was in a secret black project that was using post hypnotic suggestions to make me feel like *absolute shit* about myself, and every single person in my world was probably post hypnotically trained to say and do the *very thing* that would keep me down,
but I digress.
These old fellers-old yellers?- were talking about how I had a God Ray or something- and I probably do.
They don’t want to kidnap me-even though that was on the table for a minute.
 One of them is too scared to touch me with a 10 foot POLE, boy I tell you what!
That was one of the best moments of my little old life! You scared of me, boy!?
Good on You!
 I bet you we could go out to the shooting range and have FUN, feller.
“Move that object”.
 How about YOU move that object?
And move that one too!
 Is that what you wanna do?
 Like I’m some telekinetic pinball?
Stupid.
 I wanna have some fun the other way.
Enough with your range games.
Been there, done that.
Send me to the moon and back, fellers.
And I won’t kill ya.
With Treats.